As I continue to write on the subject , UnHealthy Soul Ties it brought me to the question Why. Why did I allow myself to stay in a situation that was unhealthy for me? Why did I continue to allow him to abuse me emotionally and mentally? See... many people think of domestic violence as only physical but it also consist of emotional and mental abuse.
At the time I experienced this I was in my twenties, in college and without a job. I lived with my mom but he was my provider. He assisted me with college tuition and he made sure I had all of my essentials and more. I guess when I think of the why it was because of the financial aspect. Many women stay in unhealthy relationships because of finances and many men design it that way. What do I mean by designed it that way? There are men who create situations where they make the woman feel comfortable by wining, dining and providing. The woman feels as if the man is there 110 percent of the way because that is what he has displayed not knowing that is a Power and Control tactic to keep the woman where he wants her. To keep her in a place where she can only depend on him. To keep her in solitude lacking friends and family assistance. This was me. I was that woman with few to none friends and I rarely associated with family. He ensured of that. Each time I decided to leave he would remind me that I had no friends and that he was the one who took care of me. He brainwashed me to think that I could not make it without him and to a certain degree I felt the same way. I had many sleepless nights with quite a few tears. It wasn't until we were in the car driving, he hit me because I changed the radio station. This was the first and the last time he put his hands on me. I was careful with my words but once I took him home and drove off I cried out to the Lord begging that he would get me out of this situation. I changed my number and my routine. He tried over and over to get me back , to persuade me to come back with gifts and flowers. He even offered to take me out of country for a shopping spree. As much as I love shopping, I decided to love myself more. That Day I got me back.